So it’s the first day of the first month of a new year. I wish I’d started out fresh. I had all the best intentions, cleaned everything around me, tried to mend any strained relationships and just try and start over on the right foot, I even helped plan a get together that would allow for a quiet night among friends.
I always have New Year’s Resolutions, and looking over them- they’re all self-edification and none are changing my patterns to allow for God to edify me… read more books, but nothing of the Bible and so on and so on. As a Christian, God is supposed to be the raison d’être and my only raison d’être is myself.
Well, despite my best efforts, the worst version of me was first to see New Year’s Day. I’m embarrassed to say that, because this day is symbolic for me of the rest of the year… guess I’m superstitious that way.
T-6 hours to midnight, and I was proven a fool. And instead of reaching for something that would improve the situation, I took the easy way out and proved myself a fool even further. But I do want to change this year. I want to make better choices. I want to give myself time to grieve my mother as well as my mistakes. I want the best version of me to be the first to see each new day, and I want God to be there with me. Easier said than done… Just, HOW? How do I get there? Where do I start? (not rhetorical! Comment, email me, text me…. ideas please)
